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Support, Encourage, Enable

Moya's Blog

5,4,3,2,1 -It’s Time to take a ‘Mind Selfie’ – Little Pigs!

Why me ? If you have ever experienced poor mental health -  now or in the past or if you  are concerned that you may do so in the future  -then  this is for you. Oh and by the way , as long as you have the capacity to think ,  that probably actually does include  include you!

So, if you could take a selfie of your mind – what would it look like – could you make it smile in sync with your face, the outer shell that shows the world how you are feeling.  Because if you can smile from the inside we can beam authentically on the outside –  Is it not time to shine brighter - it can be done and it should all start with The Planner – the starting course for our recommended route of courses to get you Mind Fit.

I am Moya – a little pig in a brick house. I am training co-ordinator for Lancashire Womens Centres, a role I have been involved with in many ways for around 15 years.  I am a woman – I am a mother , a wife, a friend , a colleague, an ex something or other to some people  etc  etc , but most of all I am a Mind and as far as possible I try my very best to keep Mind Fit  - here’s why

Now picture yourself as 3 parts or rooms

Not much else really matters except what goes on in that room – The room I refer to as The Mind. If that’s ok the other rooms can follow. There are other rooms , the Body and the external room or garden - The Environment/Work, but they cannot be accessed or true without going through the room or lets call it a hallway or passage – the most important room of all – The Mind.

I have at times  tried to ignore it and focus on The Body room ( the exterior needs a lot of work but the structures not bad !)  I have focussed on the Environment ( work, hobbies, activities) but you see -  you are just there , stuck in that room without a clue about how to get IN or OUT or – most importantly – enjoy BEING THERE – without access to that all important room – THE MIND – that has to be kept on top of.  Polished, cleaned, decorated,  opened, closed, sometimes busy, sometimes quiet , always visited and  always ok to get through , to access and  feel at ease and most comfortable in. The room in which you heave a satisfied sigh knowing everything  is actually OK          ( when it is properly cared for that is!).

And it’s the Mind room we need to take a selfie of

I will get to the point – that room is the most valuable room in your house – it is worth looking after and you will see why. – and find out which little pig you are too

A room with a view

Have you ever met someone who is really Happy with who they are.  Who talks to you and others and actually communicates really naturally. Someone who you feel at ease with and trust almost straight away.  Have you ever come across a person who you might initially have judged wrongly but within a very short time you think ‘ how wrong was I ?’ . Amazingly you do not necessarily envy this person – because you know that what they have cannot be measured, costed out, or looked at by others and envied. What they have is totally unseen. Untouchable….and really difficult to put into words. Yet it is so simple -  they have Good Self Esteem or Self Worth , whatever you want to call it, which in turn means that they are generally, genuinely HAPPY. They have that most precious part of them  ‘well cared for’  and intact….and that is my core belief and value. That we stop for a while trying to mend things or enhance things or expand things – like our self help tools or techniques that maybe work temporarily. If you have tried everything you have come across – or if you have never even begun to try to improve your life , be more confident – be HAPPY - then here’s what I would ask you to do –

Get ready to take that perfect Mind Selfie!

 I want you to STOP and start again at the beginning. Strip back everything and start to work on 5 points.  I want people to start to learn/measure/ evaluate where they are at with regards to –

1 – Getting a grasp on who they are – Know Yourself – DON’T ignore who you are

2 – Welcome yourself and accept who you are – DON’T  reject what makes you YOU

3 – Really believe in yourself – deal with doubt then DON’T let it in

4 – Like yourself , hold yourself in high regard – DON’T disapprove of who you are

5 – Treasure yourself and know your worth and value – DON’T de-value you

…and you don’t need to do it all alone  because you aren’t alone in feeling the way you do

  5 Points – 5 Weeks – for fabulous firm foundations

I believe – passionately – that  these  are the starting points to happiness. FULL STOP . Without them we will keep running around the hamster wheel, whirling about in the washing machine, trudging through treacle and mud. We will continue to hurt ourselves and others. We will carry on pretending that we are happy and sometimes even telling the world that we are. We might even appear to be  rich, famous, powerful, beautiful, funny, loved,  successful…..but I can guarantee that unless we REALLY know, like, believe in ,value and accept ourselves – we most certainly will need to effort at working on keeping it all together and intact. I would urge anyone wanting to really free themselves from unhappiness in any way , no matter how great or how small – to consider tackling the 5 points above.

Now for an apology

I am sorry but, foolishly it has taken me far too long to have the courage to introduce THE PLANNER as a full 5 week programme, I always felt somehow under pressure  to  include more – that it couldn’t be that simple – but the more I have learnt from working with myself and countless people who have benefitted from following these simple steps – the more I have come to believe in its worth and value and am now kicking myself but at the same time so excited about its launch.

So which little pig are you ?

I have seen people self destruct from attending confidence building and assertiveness courses because they didn’t take the time to secure those 5 foundations. They weren’t short changed OR badly taught , like 2 of the 3 little pigs who built their homes from sticks and straw they just hadn’t worked on those foundations of achieving and maintaining positive self esteem. I have worked with too many people who  learnt that they had rights just like everybody else  and started to act on being confident and assertive by going for what they wanted in life. However, it can all be turned on its head when they haven’t ACCEPTed  WHO they are enough to LIKE and VALUE themselves. To KNOW and BELIEVE in themselves. …and when the big bad wolf came around  ( and lets face it we all have to face big bad wolves – be it people, events, health, finances, addiction, debt  and so on) – they were blown over – reduced to nothing and had no choice other than be gobbled up or start all over again.

Be a pig with a plan

That’s why  THE PLANNER  is here – the starting point for people wanting to be happy with their lives. 5 weeks of simply finding out about ourselves, discovering the impact of how we might have ignored who we are. What has shaped us, and what we need to rid ourselves of to be happy. It can be enlightening to listen to how we talk about ourselves, the learnt behaviour we have adopted as part of ourselves and even more enlightening  when we realise we have the power to  change that so quickly and easily.

The choice is down to us, to carry on in the story that SOMEHOW was created by or for us. Or to re-write our story – how we want it, what we feel comfortable with, the real story of who we are today and who we will be tomorrow.  To start to celebrate who we are, not ignoring what might have shaped us, but deciding what we want to take with us and what no longer serves us in our lives.

I know that for many the pain of the past is almost unimaginable to let go of, but it really can only shape our present if we allow it to do so. I also am aware that for some, other interventions – clinical and/or specific and targeted support is necessary. However The Planner is a such a gentle option and for those daring to be honest enough to embark on the route to happiness – this can be the answer and it will almost certainly be the start of better things.

Calling all persons – Presidents , Preachers, Helpers, Homeless, Addicts, Adored, Celebrities, Saints and Sinners etc.

You have probably seen selfies of all the above, smiling seemingly happy , but that tells you nothing about what might be going on in their all important room OR how they deal with their big, bad wolves – open your mind and take that selfie in the room that precedes all others – then set about clearing the passageway , decorating it with knowledge, acceptance, belief, love and then valuing it above all other rooms that make up YOU.

LWC have developed a recommended route to becoming Mind fit – it includes something for everyone and the setting for these therapeutic groups is welcoming and informal. I can’t guarantee that you won’t be sat with a president, preacher, saint,  sinner or celeb– because poor self –esteem, low levels of confidence, mental ill-health , anxiety, worry, stress, anger, unhappiness, depression – these things can affect any one human being , and although we are all unique, the groups and courses we provide connect us all  and provide  a place where we realise that we are not alone on our journey to achieve happiness. A place where no amount of huffing and puffing and blowing will blow our houses down.

Ok, I have another room to attend to so that’ll be it for now – I’m off  to the The Body for some essential repair work !